Be Martha

I just finished the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Have you read it? I didn't really love it. I couldn't relate to the author. I don't think we'd be friends in real life. She seems a bit stale. But one thing I will take with me is a mantra she kept repeating to herself throughout her challenge, which was to simply "Be Gretchen." It was surprising what she came to accept when she just acknowledged that she was Gretchen and nobody else and there was nothing she could do to escape some basic truths that came with her DNA. Be Gretchen. It sounds so incredibly simple, but it's not. In the book, Gretchen discovered that she wished she were someone who wanted to listen to classical music in her spare time, but the real Gretchen actually liked pop music. I can relate to that (see a few posts back)! She recounted a story of going clothes shopping and choosing seven (or was it nine?) white shirts, all the same, all exactly what she liked to wear everyday. Her shopping-savvy mother encouraged her to branch out, try some color! She almost did, she wanted to try the color, but she knew - she just knew! -  that "Be Gretchen" meant that if she bought something else, she wouldn't wear it. White long-sleeved t-shirts are the uniform for Gretchen and she knows it! And I totally know what that feels like. To want to do the exciting, interesting, more good looking thing, but to know that Being Martha might mean something more boring, more mainstream, more safe, more predictable.

So, now I am on an unofficial and not very serious mission to map out my next series of life choices according to the advice to "Be Martha."

I've been ruminating on what is next for me and I came up with four ideas, some I've been thinking about for awhile, and some (one), I've just come up with. Let's start with that odd one...

Become a Midwife - My friend's sister is training to be a midwife right now, and she mentioned it the other day, so it got me thinking....what if my next chapter was midwifery school? I am passionate about natural birth, I can get very obsessed about it in fact. When I was preparing for and having my own two births, I thought that becoming a doula or midwife would be so rewarding. Teaching and coaching other women during a very important, special, exciting time in their lives? What could be more satisfying and rewarding than that? But, there's the bodily fluids. I don't want to reach up into someone's nether regions all the time. The smells. Things going wrong, like really wrong. The hysterical females? Would I have to become a nurse? I've never wanted to be a nurse! Plus, I've actually never even interacted with a midwife. I had hospital births because of high-risk pregnancies, so I never even had an option to have a midwife or a doula. I feel like the bodily fluids and blood alone could stop me from taking this option. Oh! We haven't even mentioned the weird hours, including middle of the nights. I am not good in the middle of the night.

Going back to PR - This is the safe option. I really enjoyed my short time in PR, but could it be that way again? I feel like finding the perfect boss and co-worker situation that I had in Southern California is just....not gonna happen. Plus, am I THAT passionate about PR? I liked it. I thought it was interesting. It was fun to interact with clients and learn about all sorts of different businesses, and meet all sorts of people and extra cool that they were local, so it felt like I was helping people in my community. Events were always fun, but truly, if I'm "Being Martha," I'm really not one for fancy nighttime events. I kind of always wished I was home in my sweats watching TV. Yep. Be Martha. Not the gal about town that I wish I was. Sorry. I also hate journalist rejection. Oh, the rejection. It's not fun. But all things considered, it's a pretty great job, and more things about it interest me than not.

Interior Design - Going back to school...paying for that school...could I even get into school?...entering a whole new field....having to be creative all the time....making something from nothing....an idea that feels like my passion, but is it really....Martha? Some say I wouldn't have to go back to school to become a designer. Bloggers are self-taught, why couldn't I be? I'd really like to work for a company, like a design firm or architecture firm, and then maybe do something on my own, so I really want to know EVERYTHING interior design related and I couldn't teach that to myself. It'd be awesome to do residential, but is there any money in that? Yeah, if I go to all this trouble, I'd like there to be more money in it than there was in PR. That is the truth. And honestly, the biggest "Be Martha" thing here that I keep coming back to is this question, "Am I really that creative?" The answer is....not really. I'm pretty left-brained, I think much more left-brained than right-brained. It is sad when I conclude this. I really would love to be more naturally creative in lots of different ways, but I'm that person who copies creativity a lot. I fear that anything I would do design-wise would be formulaic and unoriginal. Man it sucks to admit that, but it feels good at the same time. When I think about all of the hang ups on this one, it becomes pretty clear that this is just a hobby and not a career pursuit. But what about that dumb idea (which the author of The Happiness Project subscribed to, which took her from lawyer to writer) about the fact that your life's work should be what you love to do, the thing you do in your spare time that you can't get enough of.... What about that frustrating advice? I never know what to make of it. Do you?

Mom to more kids... I'm finally loving the mom thing. Yeah, you heard me, love! I couldn't say that a couple years ago, or even one year ago. My kids are in THE BEST stages and I don't ever want anything to change. Which brings on that dangerous feeling of ... let's do this again! Oh the confusion of the child-bearing years. One minute feels like hell, the next minute transports you to heaven. Or as Jim Gaffigan says, it's like fighting in the Vietnam war and dining in Paris all on the same day. It is so freaking frustrating and then so freaking amazing. It is the life endeavor with the most sacrifice and the most reward. It is just the nature of the beast. On the one hand I love, love, love, love having two kids, it feels really perfect for us in so many ways. On the other hand, what if someday in my 50s I wake up and realize I should have sucked it up for a couple more years and had one or two more. Because there is nothing, nothing, nothing more insanely amazing than meeting a human you made who then turns into an adult who (hopefully) blesses society and the world. Gosh dang it, nothing. Flip.

Fill in the blank -- Or there's the wild card....that destiny of mine that I haven't even thought of...which might actually be the option that happens just because it's so pleasantly undefined ... and so...Martha-right-now. Not the Martha of the past or the future, but the Martha-right-now. That one that looks like this: volunteer here, volunteer there, work a weird, low-paying part-time job from home, or not....all so I can be a full-time mom (which, did you see? I really love it!) This is the one that sadly suits me really well (Be Martha, wah wah). I love having time, you see. Time to read, time to pursue hobbies, time to watch TV at night, time to cook, time to sleep (my kids sleep like rock stars now! which means I sleep like a rock star now! we be rocking the sleep!) time to make play dough, time to stroll along park paths while my kids scoot along park paths, then fall off the scooter, then make me carry the scooter, then drag the scooter, then we leave the scooter behind, and opt for the skip (Noah said today for the first time, "Look, mom, I'm skipping," and it was really a gallop, but shhhh, don't tell him). It's a good time in my life right now and I'm not going to rock the boat. But what about my Be Martha destiny? What is next for the Marthinator? Tell me! Someone...

My Parents

My parents are headed to Australia next week to serve an 18 month mission. In February they went on a road trip to see their kids one last time before the farewell. When they came to see us in Seattle, it was free museum Thursday, so we took advantage of that and took the kids to see the Burke Museum on UW campus as well as the Museum of Flight. 

 Then to Din Tai Fung, a much-raved about Taiwanese dumpling house. Yum-town.

 The kids loved it, too.

 Adam watched the kids while the parents and I went to the Chihuly museum. That was pretty radical.

 Mom read to the kids and gave them one of those cool dolls that flips back and forth between the characters in the book (Red Riding Hood, Big Bad Wolf, Grandma all in one doll).

For my parents' farewell, I flew alone (!!!!) to Utah. It was awesome. Beautiful spring weather to boot!

 Lots of friends and family turned out for the event. It was soooooo fun to catch up with everyone.

I took a lot of selfies, because what else do you do when you don't have children to take care of all weekend? Here's Mimsy. 

 My long lost friend, Tyra, plus Mark photo-bombing us back there.

 You remember Heather?

 And McKenna plus three photo bombers who think they are soooooooooo funny.

 O-bomb.com.

 Mim, the former missionary, giving Mom, the future missionary, advice.

 Mim, Heather, Mom, Eirene and me, doing our thang thang.

 The groovy foursome back together again. It was so fun to talk with them all day. We could have talked approximately 2,463 more hours.

 My last shot with these two crazy kids. Good luck, mom and dad. We will miss you A LOT!

Fun with Grandma + a Getaway

Things sure got a lot brighter in January when Grandma Diane came to visit. So bright Sienna had to wear sunglasses!

We took a little trip out to Alki Beach in West Seattle to see if we could find a light house. Nope, no access allowed until summer. 

 So we telescoped some boats...

 and played in the sand. And also froze. The sun was out but it was windy and frigid.

 These two didn't seem to mind. They rarely do.

Diane was so nice to let Adam and me get away for a night. We went to a bed and breakfast in Oak Harbor. We got there in the afternoon early enough to see the beautiful view we'd be enjoying.

 We enjoyed the sunset in the lukewarm (ha) hot tub.

 The view from the tub.

 Dinner at Seabolt's Smokehouse. Truly delish. Really fresh seafood. Mmmm mmm.

 Reading my head off without any interruptions = BLISS.

 It was soooooo foggy in the morning.
Breakfast from Larry, the B&B owner, was....interesting. Salmon scrambled eggs on croissants, roasted potatoes and a fruit compote. The grapefruit juice was refreshing, though. And we were so hungry, we pigged out anyway.

 On the drive back, we stopped at Deception Pass to see the view.

 

 It's always fun when Grandma comes! Thanks for spoiling us, Diane!

Goals for 2014

Finish the entire bible - I started it when Sienna was born and I got all the way to Samuel. LET'S DO THIS.
Less TV, more books - This one is Adam's, but I figured I'd steal it because it's always a good idea no matter how you slice it. In theory. In practice...well, we'll see.
Girls trip - I have one planned. Let's execute it! Boom.
Peru trip - This one is also planned. Just need to get the details all ironed out.
Research design schools, save $ - I still want to go to interior design school. That's crazy, I know, but I really want to do it. Will I? Will I? Not this year, but I'd like to learn more about the possibilities for real.
Paint entire house, put up pictures - Daunting much? But I am committed. I'm planning to do this well before the end of the year, but I'll give myself a year just in case.
Puuuuuuurge & Organizzzzeeee - Or rather, keep purging and keep organizing. It's been a constant purge-fest since October and I need to keep going. Must. Keep. Going.
Listen to the music I love -  For so long I've tried to like what I've thought that I should like, which is to say I thought I should like obscure, unpopular, underground, indie music. Guess what? I don't. I like pop, country, R&B and sometimes rap, and then of course the rap/country hybrid, which is the most exciting thing to happen to music in a long time. I like Miley. I like Beyonce. I like Florida Georgia Line. And I have a crush on Macklemore. I'm embracing it.
Concerts with Adam - Wait, no, maybe this is where I embrace the indie music scene. Cuz heaven knows there's plenty of indie weirdness to be found on the live music scene in Seattle. 
Learn a new fitness thing -  I'd like to try Zumba maybe...but what I'd really like to try is The Bar Method. I know it's what I've been waiting for. But....it's expensive, no childcare, and not very close to my house. All obstacles I'd like to overcome somehow...
Learn how to meditate - People throw this word "meditate" around a lot. Even Jerry Seinfeld meditates. I don't know what that means. I'd like to find out.
Keep growing the hairs - It is a daily struggle to have long hair, but I like it. I'm committed to keep going. We can do this, Biotin! We can do this.
Read to my kids every Tuesday and/or Thursday mornings - I read to Noah at naptime and Adam or I read to them both at bedtime but both of those times are when I'm tired and I don't want to read at all. I've all but given up on reading to Sienna. I think I can change this if I do it in the morning, when I have more energy.
Sit down with my kids at mealtime - I made this goal unofficially a long time ago and have done well overall, but I've been slipping lately, so I'd like to re-commit.
Go camping at least 3 times this summer, once on Bainbridge Island - I need to plan ahead for this so everything doesn't get booked up before I even think about it.
Visit Carrie many, many times - My best cousin/BFF lives 3 hours from me! We need to merge our lives as much as possible to take advantage of this.
Get my closet all grown up - I'd like to try to dress like I'm in my 30s. Still trying to figure out what this means.
Above all: Simplify and Enjoy.
What about you? Resolutions? No?

December & Christmas

 For the past few Christmases, I've made a to-do list for December, an advent calendar I guess you could call it. I just want to make sure I take advantage of all the holiday-ish things to do in my area. So here's the evidence of all of that.

I met my cousin, Carrie, in Bellevue to experience Snowflake Lane, this magical little street party at Bell Square that injects holiday cheer into your very veins.

 They manufacture snow, they dance for you and with you...

 ...they give you peppermint swirl Tootsie Pops and dazzle you with their costumes. It is a mega blast.

 Carrie and I were feeling it.

 Nick and Violet were feeling it.

 Then they stayed at my place over night. Carrie and Nick went to the temple the next morning and I watched the hoodlums.

 It was really fun! This little one is not a hoodlum, though, let's be clear about that.

One afternoon I skipped Noah's naptime to venture downtown for all the fun to be had there.

 We went to Seattle Center to see the train village.

 The kids got to take turns with the conductor to "drive" the train.

 Then we spent a loooooong time running around the fountain.

 We headed to Westlake Plaza to ride the carousel.

 It was situated right in our old stomping grounds, the "blue tree park" we called it when we lived downtown. I love the addition of the lights on the blue trees. Downtown is pretty enchanting during the holidays.

 We figured we'd do the tiny tree one more year and get a real one next year. Here she is.

 And boom, just like that we're in Utah. We stayed a night at Mark & Wendy's place in SLC and went with them to Christmas festivities at This is the Place Heritage Park.

 The next morning we visited both sets of Adam's grandparents. It was great to see them all.

 One snowy drive later, we were in Roosevelt. Crazy Uncle Roger made an appearance.

 Noah's crazy "smile" face makes many, many appearances.

 The frost makes an appearance.

And our old and constant friend, butter, makes an appearance for Christmas Eve crab fest!

 We had an evening of acro-yoga. Not weird at all.

 Hunter got carpet burn on his nose when he fell after he, Izzy, Roger and I were at the apex of our human triangle....or whatever that thing was.

 Our fugliest sister faces made an appearance. The Grinch, however, did not make an appearance. ;) ;)

 We made sugar cone Christmas trees with the neighbors.

 Sienna was generally overwhelmed, bless her sweet little bird heart.

 Haven was enthusiastic! Frosting and candy. What's not to be jazzed about?

 Channeling his inner Italian, Adam made homemade ragu for everyone one evening. It was delish.

 Plenty of chit-chat time with the ladies. I can't remember when Wendy and her girls weren't a part of our family. They fit in and are soooooooo fun. Not to mention smart, beautiful, fashionable and just all around awesome. Heather and I have learned a lot from them, and have even been inspired to grow our hair out! Don't count on it getting to McKenna's length anytime soon. But still, past the shoulders is quite the accomplishment for either of us.

 We went to Jiffy Pawn for a look at the turquoise selection.

The hair whizzes give the little ones some braids. Cornrow Christmas! #mahoot

 Mark's family sang a song to the tune of Cups / When I'm Gone all about missing Mom & Dad when they leave on their mission to Australia. It was so sweet, it made me laugh and cry.

 Adam and I were pretty disciplined this trip and worked out almost everyday! It helps that the nice people at Highway 40 Fitness kept NOT punching our punch pass. They are too nice.

 Adam worked hard on his homemade gift for Wendy, a holiday velociraptor.

 We got a surprise visit from Adam's sister, Julia, and finally met her new baby, Levi! I'm still learning how to pick up a newborn as you can see.

 She's a pro. And a beautiful mama. This Levi is such a sweet baby! I saw him fall asleep about 11 times, no prob. I almost had newborn envy. Almost.

 The desolate, snow-covered fields of East Elementary School.

Duck lips on Christmas Eve.

 Getting ready to open one gift on Christmas Eve.

 The Patriarch and Matriarch look on.

 Mom read the Christmas Story and Dad read the real Christmas story.

 Lucky sisters in matching jammies!

 I drew my dad's name for homemade gift. I made him a "back massage t-shirt" - it's a town with a road and the kids drive little cars all over the roads - that's the massage. You're welcome, Dad!

 Owen got a couple volleyball trash-talking T-shirts from Wendy. This one says, "If you want soft serve, go to Dairy Queen." #powned

 Mark got a bevy of T-shirts from Heather. You see, Mark has all these philosophies on life...and they just need to be captured on T's. She's selling them at next year's Holly Fair, so get excited, Roosevelt!

 And everybody's favorite:

 Putting Myton on the map! #thatshowwedo
Tyler and/or Heather made Adam a shirt from a phrase he proclaimed when we were eating at Pie Bar, "I'm a pie guy!" Plus a pie. Good gift, guys!

Other homemade gifts not pictured here: Owen made a laugh track CD for Heather so she can LOL in real life instead of just typing it. Mark made McKenna a mod podge plaque/board of memorabilia from her old car, complete with the license plate TNDRMRCZ (Tender Mercies). Some super funny stories came with that one! Dad got me a steering wheel cover purchased at Holly Fair. Pretty sweet. Aaaaaaannndd I can't remember the rest. Did someone get something for Mom? Sorry, Mom.

Then came Christmas morning. It was a whirlwind. 

 Sienna was thrilled with her loot! Can you tell?

 Heather and I traded off wearing The Hairpiece. We need a better name for that monster.

 Noah fell asleep on me. Darling boy.

 Back in Seattle, Adam and I went on our first real date in a long time. SUSH.

 And dessert at A La Mode. Cuz he's a pie guy.

 And Noah loves his noisy fire truck.

A fabulous holiday indeed!