Happy Easter

Well, we are five performances down and three to go! And just when I thought I'd be glad to have a couple days off, I'm already sad that it will be ending this week. It has been a remarkable spiritual experience not only during every performance but during every practice.
As members of the "angel chorus" we have seen the events not only "on the ground" as portrayed by the principle cast members but we've pondered our station as actual witnesses from heaven to events on earth - singing glories at Christ's birth and rejoicing as we learn of His resurrection. Yesterday we spent nearly our entire day in performances (a matinee and evening show) and I've never enjoyed Easter weekend so much! My brother, Allen, came to see the show and we had a lovely weekend of performing and chowing - sushi yesterday, roast beef today, and of course Easter baskets full of chocolate for all!

Happy Easter, everyone!!

Book Review: Guns Germs, And Steel by Jared Diamond

In the year 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. What followed over the next 500 years was the not-so-gradual infection, murder, and relocation of the Native American population. Ever wonder why it didn't happen the other way around? Well, neither have I. But really... why didn't a Cherokee Chief load up some boats and sail across the Atlantic to infect, murder and relocate the Europeans? That's the question Jared Diamond tackles in this dense 400 pager.

The answer is simple right? European colonists beat out Indians because they had guns, and the Indians didn't. That's true, but Diamond asks the tougher question: why did Europeans develop guns, and Indians didn't? Why were Europeans resistant to measles and bubonic plague, and Indians weren't. Why did Europeans have advanced methods of agriculture, and Indians didn't? Well, it's because Europeans are smarter than Indians, right?

Wrong, says Diamond. He dismisses racist arguments outright. Instead, he argues that the ultimate explanations for Europe's dominance are environmental, not biological.

For example, Diamond points out that the American continents are tall and skinny, while Eurasia is short and fat (look at a map, it's true). If an ancient American figures out how to grow corn in Panama, the idea can't spread very far, because climate and rainfall change drastically as you move north or south. But, if someone in the fertile crescent figures out how to grow wheat, the idea can spread for thousands of miles east and west, since the climate is relatively uniform.

Large food-producing societies like ancient Europe create food surpluses. So while some people farm, others have time to sit around and invent things... like guns. Europeans weren't smarter or more inventive than Indians, they just lived in a better place. If the Americas were short and fat, and Eurasia were tall and skinny, the Anasazi would have colonies all over the world, and Europeans would live on reservations.

Diamond's book is not a page-turner, but it is fascinating. Reading it is a serious project, but it opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking about our past. If you like anthropology at all, check this book out.

Till We Meet Again

In case you're wondering and wishing and hoping and yearning, yea and even pining, for an updated blog in the next three weeks, you can take your high hopes and....go visit The Pioneer Woman. Because starting tonight we had/have 'Savior of the World' rehearsals and performances until the end of time.

We are part of a 150 person angel chorus and, dude, it is gnarly. We've garnered so much attention for our over-the-top production that the composer of the music and several other artsy-fartsy big wigs that run the show in Salt Lake City are coming to see it - no, not just see it - hold a special fireside for US to see THEM, too! We are in full costume at this point, plus rigged up light systems and sound systems and mike systems from - where else - Disneyland. The set, which includes 15-foot walls that the angels stand on, was hand built by one super-human male builder and painted by two super-human female artists. And the entire show is run by a pair of super-human female drama queens. It is going to be nothing short of spectacular.

If you're in Southern California or just looking for an excuse to come here, buy tickets! Go to http://www.irvineproductions.com/ to book them. And God be with you till we blog again.

Numb Bum

I started cycling 3 years ago this month. Every day after I ride my bike, I ask myself the same question: "Why can't I feel my butt?"

A quick Google search (keywords: cycling, numb, fertility) reveals all sorts of interesting opinions on the topic. Some, including the Mayo Clinic (oooooohhhhh), say that "bicycling can sabotage the system". I don't think I need to mention which system they're referring to (reproductive). Others claim the whole issue is a joke, although I should mention that most of these people are cyclists. Who are you gonna believe here... seriously?

So I have to ask myself a tough question: Am I going to keep riding, despite my constant numb-bum? Let me answer that question with another question: Is the Pope Catholic? Do one legged ducks swim in circles? Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?

Fortunately for me, the combined research and development resources of the cycling industry have been looking into this problem for some time. After devoting thousands of man-hours, millions of dollars, and who knows how many test miles, they have come up with this... that's right... saddles with holes in them.

Mine will be arriving next week!

Measuring the Years

I turned 26 yesterday and what better way to celebrate than by baking and eating and getting things that promote baking and eating. When Adam asked what I wanted for my birthday I said "measuring cups." Just like that. And I meant it. Can you see why? I've been living with measuring cups that have been around the block a few times.

The 1/4 cup came out a fighter, but who needs a sturdy 1/4 cup? thanks a lot; the 1/3 cup was left behind in Vista, lost in some church kitchen during a pizza making fundraiser that I helped the Young Men with in Adam's place (all the more reason for Adam to be the one to make ammends); the 1/2 cup is a crucial cup, but it went and got mangled in the dishwasher about twice and my 1/2 cups of sugar have been lopsided ever since; the 1 cup just wussed out the other day under the weight of some wheat flour. Wheat flour weight! These cups had to know what was coming to them: the trashcan.

So Adam got me some great measuring cups along with...surprise...my choice of art lessons - there are drawing lessons, all kinds of painting lessons and ceramic lessons to choose from! Can't wait, and I think I'm going with the drawing lessons.

This is the baking I did for the b-day (Adam did the cooking - a salmon dinner of wonder). It's a lemon tart with berries on top, obviously. And I did it all while looking fabulous in my winter wardrobe staple: the blue bathrobe.

Then we went for a walk at the beach! It was a great birthday. Thanks to all of you who wrote me/called. I gotta run to SOTW practice now but you will be getting a reply!

The End

Adam finished the last test of the CPA on Wednesday so it is back to hanging out for us!! The first thing we did was sit down and write lists of everything we want to do to maximize our free time. Top on the list: planning our trip to Oregon. Also on the list: tennis, walks on the beach [& all-day-Saturdays at the beach in the summer], bikerides, hiking, reading, kayaking, deep sea fishing, painting/drawing, dollar movie nights and so much more! And finally on the list: beard-growing contest. He is clearly the frontrunner at this point but you never know...

Did You Know There's Wilderness 10 Min. from My House?

I didn't. But last week when we had President's Day off, we explored it. I thought any hiking venture in this area would end in disappointment, or at least end in an hour. But I was so wrong. This amazing, long-stretching wilderness is in Laguna Canyon, a 10 minute drive from our house. (Ari took this sweet pic).

Praise to the Woman

I have been reading "The History of Joseph Smith by his Mother" and let me just say that 1. Lucy M. Smith is the bomb. She and the early Saints underwent as much persecution as Joseph himself, and she is one of my new heroes. And 2. Emma Smith is so tough and inspiring. Lucy doesn't mention her much, but here's a great passage that has been on my mind for a few days now:

"Emma's health at this time was quite delicate, yet she did not favor herself on this account, but whatever her hands found to do, she did with her might, until she went so far beyond her strength, that she brought upon herself a heavy fit of sickness, which lasted four weeks. And, although her strength was exhausted, still her spirits were the same, which, in fact, was always the case with her, even under the most trying circumstances. I have never seen a woman in my life, who would endure every species of fatigue and hardship, from month to month, and from year to year, with that unflinching courage, zeal, and patience, which she has ever done; for I know that which she has had to endure - she has been tossed upon the ocean of uncertainty - she has breasted the storms of persecution, and buffeted the rage of men and devils, which would have borne down almost any other woman. It may be, that many may yet have to encounter the same - I pray God, that this may not be the case; but, should it be, may they have grace given them according to their day, even as has been the case with her."

For the Love of Baking

Not to be an advocate of full-fat living, but I've been in a baking bonanza since Valentine's Day and I don't know when I'm going to come out of it. Pre-Valentine's Day I made BHG's almost red velvet cupcakes (I ran out of food coloring) for my neighbors and co-workers plus chocolate suicide cake for Adam and me. A few days earlier (which is really what must've set this whole thing off), after encouragement from Fig, I made PW's French breakfast puffs - for dinner. Over the weekend, Adam made his mom's chocolate chip cookies for no good reason, I made another chocolate cake plus vanilla buttercream frosting for a dinner party, and after a battle with myself today, I gave in and made The Cookie Bible's double chocolate oat cookies. I don't know what to conclude about this, but I'm just going to go ahead and recommend all of them. Especially the chocolate suicide cake. Kill me now.

Hello Ruby, Namaste Owen

While Adam got butt-burn riding his bike last weekend, I went to Utah for two exciting events: the baby shower for my cousin Carrie and the farewell for my little brother Owen, who's headed on a mission to India. Here's a sampling of shots from both events.Carrie's naming her little girl Ruby. Too cute. She's debuting in March.

Why do babies get all the cute swimming suits? Also, why do babies get all the cute onesies? Who's with me on adult onesies! Here's my mom and sis, chowing and laughing - a must-do at all showers.
Heather's kid is on the right and Mim's kid is on the left.Mim, Carrie and I reunited at last! It has been TOO LONG. And the trip was way too short. But great to see them, nevertheless.

I threw a polka-dot shower with Dots for thank you goodies. Get it?

Back in Roosevelt for the farewell, the obligitory family picture.

My Grandpa H. just keeps plugging along. I treasure him every time I see him.

Owen is a madman on the piano. Just as he will be a madman missionary.

The last pics with Heather, The Boy and me. The next time we see him he'll be The Man.

Saddle Sore

Wow does my butt hurt!

Last Saturday I got together with my buddies John and Spencer for a 100 mile bike ride in Palm Springs. Yup, you read it correctly. Go ahead, go back and read it again just to be sure. That's right: Palm Springs.

Here's a quick play by play:

6:55am - 0 miles. Waiting at the starting line with 9,000 other idiots, the three of us grapple with tough questions like "how do I get back to the car if I collapse at mile 85?" and "does this lycra make my butt look fat?"

7:00am - 0.1 miles. The ride begins. We are seen off by the local high school marching band playing the Darth Vader Theme. There are cheerleaders, homecoming royalty, and those girls with the big flags. John makes a joke about band-nerds. Typical.

7:35am - Mile 8. It's warming up. John decides to take off his windbreaker without stopping. He crashes, slightly tweaking his wrist. What's amazing about this is not that John crashed. That should have been obvious. The incredible thing is that it was all captured on video.



9:20am - Mile 42. I trip the roadside camera, which captures this first class image of yours truly.



9:35am - Mile 48. Spencer bumps a guy trying to pass him. The guy exclaims, "You are not a very safe rider!" Spencer, known far and wide for his temper, yells something back about the other guy's intelligence. The situation escalates quickly, culminating in the altercation below:



11:00am - Mile 55. After a short break, I hook up with this incredible group of about 10 riders. We form a great paceline, and hold 20 to 23 mph for over an hour. I lay down several solid pulls, earning the thanks and praise of the guys in the group. Thing are looking good.

12:25pm - Mile 80. I find myself unable to hang with the group. I skip a turn at the front. Some of the guys start glaring at me. I get dropped... without a word or a even a nod. As I slip out of the draft, I slow to about 13 mph. I can hardly move. I look down at my computer: 80.1 miles. Two old ladies on a tandem pass me. I pedal for what seems like forever. I look down again: 80.2 miles.

12:45pm - Mile 85. Things I have never thought start entering my mind. I wonder what my boss would think if I didn't show up on Monday. I think about the house Martha could buy with my life insurance proceeds. I try to remember the last time I had any feeling in my crotch.

1:00pm - Mile 90. A rest stop! I hadn't seen it on the map! I roll to a stop. Somebody hands me a turkey sandwich. I guzzle a quart sized bottle of gatorade without stopping to breathe. I sit down on the pavement next to a water cooler. I stare at the ground for about 10 minutes, my mind is completely blank. Nothing. So tired. Can't move.

1:10pm - Still at Mile 90. Finally I feel my strength returning. I hop back in the saddle and take off. I feel like a new man again. Something about that turkey sandwich. I hold 19 to 20 mph for the last 10 miles.

1:45pm - Mile 100. I see the finish line! I'm right back where it all started 6 hours and 45 minutes earlier. The announcer is yelling for every person as they cross the line, like we're all sprinting to beat the peloton. In my mind Phil Liggitt is yelling: "These are DESPARATE times!" I cross the line. Someone hands me a t-shirt and a bottle of water. I look around for the ladies with the yellow dresses. They're not there. The marching band is gone too.

Fabulous in a Pantsuit

So there I was. The Hart Senate Office Building on Capitol Hill, just walkin' around lookin' around. My fellow intern, Sharine, and I had set out to go to some forum featuring non other than The Hill herself. Hillary on Capitol Hill in the Hart. It was Sharine's idea. Hillary was her American idol. Her inspiration. Her reason for being in D.C. I was just along for the walk because Hillary was just another politican giving just another speech at just another forum and somehow that seemed more bearable to me than sitting in the press office begging for something to do.

And suddenly there she was. There I was, there Sharine was, and there SHE was. Pantsuit and all. I'm thinking it was yellow, but maybe that's because my recent favorite of hers (I think worn in both Michigan and California) is the yellow one with the black lining. Anyway, I think this one was a canary yellow.

She walked out of the room we were heading into and Sharine busted out her camera in a panic. I thought to myself, I should shake Hillary's hand, introduce myself in case some day I care about her. Instead I stood by, ready to make all Sharine's dreams come true. Sharine managed to get the camera on and immediately handed it to me while asking Hillary for a shot. Hillary looked busy, she was talking on the phone, and all her people were around her. But she agreed and they stood together smiling.

I pushed the button. Nothing. Tried a few more times. Nothing. I tried a lot. And still nothing. Sharine ran over and tried to get the camera going. I kept shooting but NOTHING was taking. I couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe it. Hillary could probably believe it but had other things to think about. Hillary stood by and by and by as we tried and tried and tried and shook it and whispered mean things to it. But STILL. Nothing.

Hillary was completely unruffled. She would have stood there all day if she didn't have New York to consider. And just like that, her camp moved on. She said she was sorry but had to go. She was so nice, so patient, all the while talking simultaneously on the phone AND to everybody else. There she went...back to the elevator. Back on the train below. Over to the place where people make the big decisions. And never back into Sharine's life again.

Sharine had a few words to say about it. Mostly swear words.

And I left with the feeling that someday I was going to slightly regret not shaking her hand. Just to say I did it. Just in case she and I would sport the same hairdo at the same time. Just in case she made history. Just in case she actually DID do it all while looking fabulous in a pantsuit.

Maybe There's Hope

When Adam got back from the beard harvest last week (aka, working in Sacramento), I knew we had a chance at beating this thing. This thing called Body Double. He's growing it for the Savior of the World production. We're in the angel choir and the Thespian Leaders want everyone to look authentic. It's only natural that I should go blonde about that time. Totally ancient en vogue. Adam has also taken to the streets, Bicyclists Against Body Doubles. He's so passionate about distancing himself from my look, I can only admire him. I also learned how to use clippers correctly so he's got more hair this haircut around. I know you're all so interested so I'll keep documenting our progress. The most exciting is this beard development...he's never made it past 10 days and today we're going on 9!!

PS - If Hillary wins Super Boos-day, have I got a story for you.