One Year Later

We've reached the one year mark of being back home in America. It has been a doozy of a year and filled with so many different feelings. Good, bad, glad, mad. Before we moved home, Adam and I talked about how we had probably peaked in life and it'd all be downhill from there. We loved life in Luxembourg. We lived in a small town just a few miles outside the larger city center. We lived in a basic apartment where all our needs were met. We had a view out the large back patio windows of a serene forest where we'd sometimes see deer and foxes, plus we'd go for lots of walks and bike rides through those trails. Every six weeks we had a week off to go travel. I mean, do I need to keep typing here? It was an idyllic lifestyle.

However, I knew that if we stayed long term it wouldn't feel so idyllic. I'd have to get a job I didn't care about (if I was lucky to even get a job), we'd likely move to a bigger place, the cost of living was steep, the constant travel wouldn't keep going at that pace forever, the longer we lived as Europeans, the less we'd have in common with our American friends and family, plus being that far away from friends and family back home felt unsustainable. I knew the magic of that place was tied to it being temporary and the plan to stay three years was just right.

It really was a high! We really did peak! I'm pretty sure life does not and will not get better than three years in the magical oasis of Luxembourg. It's truly impossible to beat the feeling of knowing I have a European wonder-city to travel to in my near future. But I'm here to say it still feels good to be home and to have made it through that huge move, and have made it all the way to this one year mark. Let's talk about it.

Last July was amazing. We spent the month in Utah and Colorado visiting family. It was everything.

Last August was harrowing. Living in temporary housing, in a tinier apartment than ever, in a loud, bustling, construction-heavy neighborhood in Seattle with only a few boxes of our things was tough. I hated it. Oddly, looking back, I have good memories. Which is why I'm convinced nostalgia is always better than the present moment. The present moment is just too awful sometimes. But pain in the past feels somehow triumphant.

September was nice ... we moved back into our town house. I set to work getting everything painted and organized. Love that part. AND I also started interior design school. That proved to be the best decision I ever made. It fueled me all year and gave me a purpose and new direction to pour my energy into.

The winter is a bit of a blur. I think I lost my mind. The incessent gloom felt unbearable. It wasn't anything new, and Luxembourg has the same exact weather as Seattle, just colder. But when you experience gloom and drizzle for months on end in Western Europe, you are compensated by staggering beauty on all sides to help you through it. You get to experience darling cobblestone walkways, walk through town squares that engender a sense of community and shared history, you see flowers in windowsills that shout "I'm here for no other reason than to brighten your life," you gaze upon ancient castle & fortress ruins that make you feel like something important happened there. There is no gloom compensation in Seattle except amazing restaurants and ice cream and pie. WHICH ARE GREAT. Yes, they are. But it's a pretty grungy place and it was hard to find my old love for Seattle continuing on with my new eyes.

Sidenote: don't move to Europe. It will ruin every other American city for you. Every city doesn't compare. I'll get to that in a minute.

By February when it started snowing and my kids' and my school was cancelled for so many days, I really lost it. Everything stops when the snow sticks in Seattle. You really can't drive on all the steep roads. It's just too treacherous. The snow made me cry. It made me really hate where I lived. And it's not like it would be better somewhere else. It's just that the gloom and the cabin fever really got to me.

The spring was great, however, and I traveled a bit, saw some dear friends and family, and April, May and June were fantastic. Dry and sunny and no complaints there.

And here we are in July! We set foot back on American soil last year on July 1st, I believe.

In summary:
8 months in - I started feeling normal.
10 months in - I felt like I was back to being mostly American
12 months in - I feel like Europe never even happened. Or maybe it was a pretty dream.

Takeaways 12 months in:

I'm giving into athleisure - The need for comfortable clothes is nothing new. I'm all about that. But when Americans show up to everything in sweats or basketball shorts, I think they can do better. And Athleta and Lululemon have shown us the way. Comfy, non-denim-everything atheletic wear can be acceptable daily wear and I can see why. Their stuff is cute! And some of it could be mistaken for something from a dressier store. I've seen some solid everyday choices there and while I haven't bought anything yet, I can see some of their stuff in my future daily roundup of clothing. It's finally time.

Black and navy seem boring now - Clothing here is bright and colorful and patterned. That feels happy and fun. So every time I reach for black or navy I feel boring. But it's not boring. It's classic and European and tres chic. But wearing those colors in America just feels boring to me now. Womp womp.

Vacation time - The attitude toward taking a vacation here is sadly still the same. It's seen as something people do only when they're about to run out of vacation time and they know it won't roll over. It's not celebrated. It's a hassle and it's still a badge of honor to say, "I haven't taken a vacation in years!" I think us lazy Millenials are changing that, but it's still pretty prevelant for people to value endless work over a solid chunk of time off doing nothing. See how I just referenced myself? "A lazy Millenial." I can't just be a person who wants to take the month of August off, like every Italian or French person on this earth would expect to do. Time off is viewed very differently in America and it's ingrained in me to see it from that lens.

Service is way too fast in restaurants - Has this ever been a complaint issued on American soil? I'm basically speaking blasphemy right now. But dude, when the server comes rushing up to my table a few minutes after I got there, breathlessly saying, "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner," I just want to pat her hand and say, "Honey. You got here too fast. Try coming over in 10 minutes and then I'll be ready to see you." It's not that I loved getting my food 45 minutes after I arrived in a restaurant in Europe. I like getting my food relatively quickly because I'm almost always ravenous. However. I don't want my entire meal at a nice restaurant to last only 30 minutes, start to finish. I need my babysitter to put my kids to bed, girlfriend! So, Adam has made it a point to tell waiters to let us order drinks first and then bring the food menu later. And he tells them several times, "We are not in a hurry." Some places get it. But some don't. And so we get the check, we pay, and then we sit there and talk for a long time. We got used to taking a longer time to hang out at a nice dinner, and we want to keep it that way.

Return policies are nuts here. In all the best ways, of course. I love this about America. It makes shopping for a family very easy, especially when it comes to clothes that need to fit. But I can't imagine what a headache and cost it is for companies. It must be built into our purchase prices at this point, and we likely pay for it at the cash register. But man. The customer gets everything here. It's nice. For sure. But why does it feel too easy to me?

Yogurt aisle vs ice cream aisle - I miss the yogurt aisle in Luxembourg. It's not like I even tried them all, but I got used to yogurt for dessert, and I just miss their versions. Here the ice cream aisle is a lot more extensive, and I love that, too. And I actually really love a lot of the yogurt varieties here too (we have a lot more Greek yogurt options, which are ok but not my fave), but I wish we had some of my Euro faves. A gal can dream!

I don't like carpet - Since we lived in a tile apartment for three years, I saw that dustbunnies show up within one day. One. Day. Which makes me understand just what's in my carpet. I know too much at this point. I kind of want to rip ours out and replace it all with hardwood. I dunno. It's too echoey and cold to have hard floors everywhere, but for feeling like I have a clean house ... carpet is not doing it for me. I know what's living in there and it gives me the heebie jeebies.

Protein bars - America is high on protein bars. Have you seen that aisle lately? It was extensive before I moved to Europe, but now it's about to crossover into a second aisle and just keep going until it takes over the entire supermarket. I admire the creativity with these things. But at this point....what's even in them? Is it food at all? Is there really infinite variety to a protein bar? Are we just going to keep letting companies into this market? Yes. Yes, we are. Because our goal is to someday eat entire meals made of protein bars. It's efficient and time-saving and those are the top priorities here. All that said, I loooooooove the protein bar aisle and will savor it all my days. They can be the perfect snack - not too heavy, not too light, and with clever, misleading names like "cinnamon roll" even when there is no place on earth where it would be considered in the same realm as a cinnamon roll - and if I've learned anything, it's that Americans are really savvy at inventing all the best ways to snack.

Blondes have more fun - Europe is filled with true brunettes and they're a bit morose. It surpises me, a true brunette, to say ridiculous things like this. I've never felt more at home in my brunette hair than when I lived in Europe. But certain truths never go away, and one of those unfortunate ones is that blondes have more fun. A general feeling in the air in Europe is to embrace who you are and just be a natural woman. That's fantastic. In theory. But I would like to just admit that when I had a blonde balayage treatment in my hair recently, it reminded me of how light and airy I feel when I have fakeness injected into me. It's ingrained in my being. The American beauty ideal is blonde Barbie and I can't shake her. Deep down I think I'm meant to be an easy, breezy California gal. Cuz they have more fun. They just do. And I do, too, when I try to be that. This is all very ridiculous to say. But I'm telling you .... the beauty ideals you grow up with .... they never leave you.

Home ownership is lame -  This is an absurd "white people problems/white privilege" thing to say in 2019, but I just gotta say. The "lazy Millenial" in me wants to rent a small apartment forever! I actually walk by apartment complexes and long for the days when we lived in such establishments. Your maintenance was taken care of, you had a pool, and your time spent cleaning was next to nil. This actually has nothing to do with Luxembourg, I just wanted to say home ownership is relatively new to us and, um, it requires more time and care. So there. But I also love it. It's home and it's stable. So I just need to pipe it.

European cities are better than American cities - I don't mean to come down hard on America when I write things like this, but when people get excited about visiting American cities ... I just get a little sad. Paris. Paris, you guys. Barcelona. Brussels my love! Prague. Amsterdam oh holy Amsterdam. Copenhagen. Cologne. Salzburg. For heaven sakes ROME, FLORENCE, VENICE. And back to Paris. Cuz I'm obsessed. I mean, I didn't even visit that many cities, and I know there are dozens more waiting to blow my socks off. But Europe knows how to design and build a beautiful city. I think we'll get there. America is still young and people are still discovering what it means to live in & visit a city. (Millenials are choosing city living over suburb living, so that's a new thing.) We'll get better at making walkable city centers. We already have a better grasp on the joy of small boutique shopping. We are understanding the concept of living above a restaurant. And having lots of great restaurants. We'll never have authentic cobblestones (fine with me, they're not good for strollers or the disabled anyway), we won't have the ancient, towering cathedrals (fine, fine, you've seen one, you've seen them all) and we may never give up our cars or figure out really good public transit (I love my car so I'm not that sad about this) ... but we're getting there. A lot of people travel now, too, so we can all bring our ideas home with us and build prettier places to live here! Yay!

Free water and bathrooms, amen! - Having public water fountains and bathrooms available in most places, hallelujah for these things! I love you, America.