Thursday, August 04, 2011

Too Lazy for Two

(Noah finally asleep right now after I laid down with him for an hour. We were snoozing nicely until Sienna started yelling "No! NOOOOOO!" from her crib. Two kids! BAH?)

After I had one kid, I thought: how do people have more than one kid? After two, I'm thinking: how do people have more than two? I'm pretty sure there will come a day when I think I'm ready for three. But, friends and family, listen to me. If you care about the well-being and safe-keeping of me, Adam, Sienna, Noah remember this: you MUST, absolutely MUST talk me out of it. Shake me by the shoulders, slap me in the face, step on my toe all while yelling: "NO! Don't do it! You can't handle newborns! They are not for you! Please! For the love of Pete! You must stay on The Pill! It is really for your own good! Please! Pete! Please! Do it for the children!!!!!!! Martha!!!!!!! Pete!!!!!!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaseee!!!"

Seriously, folks, how is it done? Because most days I am just not doing it. I thought I knew how to take care of a newborn since I've done it once before, but I don't. There are not enough miles to walk to make Noah fall asleep. There are not enough muscles in my arms to hold him. There are not enough hours at night in which to sleep. There is not enough patience in my heart to wish he'd stay little forever. How is it done? Really. How?

I'll tell you how it's done. They grow up, that's how it's done. Yes, there are some things about newborns that are easier than toddlers. Noah eats one food. That's his choice, and he likes it. He's pretty portable still. It helps that of all places he likes to sleep, he'll happily take smashed next to me in my Ergo carrier while walking around the playground. As long as I'm holding him and walking (thousands of miles) he's happy. But I would take a toddler over a newborn any day. Sienna can walk, she can talk, she can sing, she can play. She is so fun and so sweet. She knows how to hug and kiss! Please, Noah, start walking and talking soon! That's the only way I am ever going to feel like I can keep you around. Because right now you are just too much dang work. I am lazy, see? And I am tired of being your pack horse.

6 comments:

Lilianne said...

Martha...you seriously took the words right out of my mouth! I, too, wish the Lord would send us toddlers. I could have plenty of those. But seriously?? Newborns are KILLER. I just pray away the first eight months, wishing and praying that they'll grow up fast. That they'll sleep for goodness sakes! That they'll just be not so...darn...fickle! AHH! It kills me. So, I totally hear where you are coming from. Hang in there. The "sweet" is just around the corner...

The Titmi said...

ha ha- My babies sleep like angels. Its the toddler years that KILL me. Like right now

Chris, Krista and Conor Bolton said...

Wanna trade? My kid is now a toddler and is more exhausting now than when he was a newborn! I'm totally down with cuddling a newborn again... :)

Meg said...

Pack horse...so funny! I don't know how people do it. I swear you just articulate so well the things that I feel sometimes. I am convinced that I didn't have Owen until I had subconsciously yet effectively blurred out all of the memories of delivery, recovery, nursing, long nights, no naps etc. As far as #3, right now those are all still a bit too vivid.

House of Hullinger said...

I remember thinking that I couldnt wait until I had the child because being prego was so darn miserable. Then after the child was born I remember thinking that they are definitely easier to lug around inside my belly. All the crap that you have to carry around is irritating to say the least. I will say that it gets easier. Yourpack will go down once Sienna is Potty trained. I do have to rub it in a little though that it only gets better as they age.

Miriam said...

First of all, what remarkably beautiful children you have. Sienna is just breathtaking, and little Noah is a handsome brute. He looks just like himself.
Newborns. I don't even know the meaning anymore. Everything i ever knew is out the window, and I find myself just as insecure and floundering as I was with numero one. I am desperately wishing away this time, obviously, and trying to just accept that that's okay. I just wish she would smile at me more!!! I feel a smile or two more would heal my heart. That's the brutal part of their infancy, is they don't have the affection to justify all the work. I long to talk to you, and ps. could you send me an invite to view this blog to miriamtribe@gmail.com? this is my old account that I don't use anymore.